|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009
Posts: 33
|
Hi everyone,
My name is Carol, I hope you dont mind me being here, I just needed to tell you all what has happened.
My husband Pete was diagnosed with RA 16months ago, although we both knew about 5 years ago he had it
but could not get it diagnosed, luckily we got a second opinion and a fantastic team who finally took charge.
I have been his full time carer for the last 5 years and we have been together for 33 years and happily married
for 32 of them with 3 children and 3 grandchildren.
Unfortunatly on Easter Monday, just 7 weeks ago I went to visit my brother in hospital after emergency surgery,
and when I came home I found Pete on the bedroom floor, he had been there about 2 hours and nobody could help
him, he passed away so quickly that he knew nothing, he was just 52 years old and the love of my life.
The reason I need to tell you this is because he had what we classed as a problem knee, it swelled to about 4 times
it normal size and the leg swelled and the ankle and foot also, this happened frequently and was extremely painful
as most of you would know, but what we did not realise, and have been told would probably not have been detected
there was a thrombosis in the leg and it broke away and collapsed his lungs and stopped his heart within about 30 seconds,
even his rheumy nurse said that she would have said that the RA was the problem with his knee and would have had no
idea what was lurking in there and this is the problem with RA, a lot of people dont realise what it can hide, so please
everyone dont leave things, I know it is difficult but dont take no for an answer.
Pete spent hours on here just reading about you all and understanding how you felt and loved the way you all support
one another but never had the confidence to introduce himself and if we can help just one other person with this story
then his life would not have been wasted, this has been so hard to write as I miss him so much
With Love to you all
Carol XX
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 3,006 Location: Timperley
|
Dear Carol
First of all, of course no-one minds you being here. You are VERY welcome and I, for one, am so pleased you decided to post.
You are obviously a very brave, caring and beautiful lady and my heart goes out to you and your family. To post as you have done, such a short time after your husband's death, sharing your concerns with other forum members, shows a depth of compassion seldom found these days.
Although I don't know you, I would like to offer my very sincere condolances and will remember you in my prayers.
Please, please, keep posting - we can all support each other.
With love
Jeanxxxx
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 1,689 Location: Durham
|
Hello Carol, I`m so glad you posted on here. Please accept my deepest sympathy on the loss of your dear husband, Pete - it must have been devastating for you and your family. His death is a lesson to us all to be vigilant in future. Take care, Kathleen x
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 3/8/2010 Posts: 914
|
My Dear Carol,
What a tragic thing to have happened to your husband, I sat and cried when I read your story. No one will mind you sharing your grief on here, it's so compassionate to what to help others. My heart goes out to you, my husband is the light of my life too, I can only begin to imagine how you must be feeling. You have your special memories keep them strong in your mind. Lots of love and prayers for you at this sad time. Lorna xx
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 1,740
|
Hello Carol Your so brave and so welcome to post Such sad loss and shokc you and your family have ahd to endure,but im so glad you shared his story he wont be forgotten. take caes ending you a hug. melly cuddly cats make my world seem so much more fun
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 1,081
|
Dear Carol,
My deepest sympathy for your loss. Thank you for posting.
Julie
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 3,157 Location: Huddersfield
|
Dear Carol,
I too sat and cried when I read your post, but I am so glad you posted with this warning to be vigilant.
I am so, so sorry to hear of Pete's untimely death, you must miss him so much. I have been married to Ian for 31 years and can only begin to imagine how dreadful it is for you.
I'm glad Pete was able to get so much from the forum, what a pity he didn't get round to posting but it's lovely to meet you , post as much as you like , we will be happy to chat with you anytime.
Praying for you and hoping you will find the strength to get through this awful time.
Lots of love, Doreen xx
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009
Posts: 33
|
Thankyou everyone for your lovely messages, I was having such a bad day and it was
so hard to write but I do feel a little better having read the response. Every day is such a
struggle at the moment and it is nice to know that there is support from you all.
With Love
Carol
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 3,006 Location: Timperley
|
Keep posting, Carol - we're all here for you
xxxxxxx
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/4/2009
Posts: 335
|
so sorry to hear about your lose carol, you are so brave to post so soon and to think of every one else,
I know it must be a very hard time for you but stay on here and people are always here to help
xxxTina
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 5/19/2010
Posts: 384
|
Dear Carol
Thank you for sharing this with us I am sure it will make many of us more vigilant in the future. I send you my sincere condolences. Take care of yourself.
Anne xx
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009
Posts: 585
|
Hi Carol
I am so sorry to read about your husband
I had a DVT a few weeks ago so I do know how important it is to keep your eye on this kind of thing
it is so wonderful of you to think about others at this very sad time
keep posting on here we all will try to help you
you and the family are in my prayers
take care
and thank you again
Mary L
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 561
|
Hi Carol , so sorry for you it must of been such a shock , thank you for telling us about the dvt , please keep posting , we all help each other on here ,
Sophie x
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/4/2009
Posts: 336
|
Thankyou Carol for sharing this with us, it took a lot of strength to do it and will make us all more aware. I'm so sorry for your loss,I can't imagine how bereft you are feeling. Glenys.
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 2/18/2010 Posts: 1,098 Location: farningham kent
|
Hello Carol
So very sorry to hear your sad news about the loss of your dear husband Pete, you a very much in my thoughts.
It was very brave of you to write at this difficult time, it just shows how vigilant we all need to be and thank you for bringing this to our attention
You take good care of yourself,
Julia xx
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 1,110 Location: London
|
Carol, thank so so much for thinking of us at this very sad time. I cried when I read your post, what a sad thing to happen. My deepest sympathy goes to you and your family. The days mus tbe so long, and hard to get through at the moment. I will be thinking of you and sending prayers for all of you. Please keep posting and letting us know how you are BARBARA
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/4/2009
Posts: 2,127
Location: Thornton Cleveleys
|
Dear Carol I am so sorry to hear of your sad loss. Reading through this has brought me to tears it must have been so very difficult for you to write. Thank you for sharing this heartfelt and very personal narrative with us. I hope that in so doing it has helped you in some way too. I feel sad that the opportunity to chat with Pete didn't arise but so pleased that he benefited from the forum. I do remember seeing his username at the bottom of the page when he was online; I'm always curious about those who don't feel able to post and hope one day they will have the confidence to join us. It's lovely to meet you and thank you again for posting. Such a difficult time for you, do take care. My thoughts are with you. Lyn x
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 3/4/2010
Posts: 576
|
Oh Carol - you wrote so thoughtfully and so honestly. Your love for your husband and his for you shone through your post and has moved me to tears.
I am so sorry for your loss. I pray thet you have strong, loving and supportive family and friends around you to comfort you and support you. Please keep on posting if it helps. You are very brave. Thankyou for thinking of us when you have so much to bear. XX Ailsa
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member  Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009 Posts: 1,582 Location: Oxfordshire
|
Dear Carol,
I think your post was the most beautiful and caring one I have ever read. I burst into tears when I read the tragedy which has befallen you and your most precious husband Pete.
It is a rare gift to have such compassion and care as yours, to come on here and bravely and poignantly tell us the story- and so soon too- I admire you very much indeed.
There are times when there are just no words and this is one of them- but I offer you my prayers to find the fortitude and the strength to get through this.
God Bless and may Pete rest in peace,
Amanda
|
|
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/3/2009
Posts: 216
|
Hi Carol, so very very sad to read of your beloved husband's unexpected death, my sympathy is all I can offer (I lost my husband very suddenly too), and my love and support too. Thank you so much for being brave enough to come on here, keep posting we are all here for you, much love, Lxx Always be aware that what you do might hurt others........and if it could, do nothing without careful consideration of the consequences
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
